mercy is amazing.
grace, absurd.

♥

"For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

i. love. thanksgiving.
it has always been my favorite holiday, i think that's because it is a day we gather our family & loved ones together, spend time loving one another and catching up, and there is not the chaos and greed that can unfortunately be associated with christmas. don't get me wrong-i LOVE christmas! i love everything about it, yep, even the santa part. i just think i love thanksgiving a little bit differently because the focus doesn't get lost like it can with christmas and other holidays. it seems like a more genuine holiday.
plus, pie is awesome.
heheh.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever!"
1 Chronicles 16:34, Psalm 106:1, Psalm 107:1, Psalm 118:1 & 29, Psalm 136:1...

this is what makes me smile:
coloring with lily. ♥

what a crazy day.

have you ever had to prepare an entire thanksgiving feast (minus the turkey...so i guess entire is inaccurate, but i'm going to leave it there because it sounds more dramatic that way.hahh) for 77 people in one hour and 43 minutes??? i don't really recommend it.
the food turned out to be pretty tasty, the hands down favorite was the "uh oh, you didn't plan a vegetable? time to go 'shopping' in the leftovers bin" casserole. it was sort of like the traditional green bean casserole, but with some surprises. heheh.

class felt like it lasted forever tonight...it was good, though. i can't believe we only have 4 more classes until graduation. i'm kinda sad about that. i like to learn, and i will really miss the friends i've made, and the support i've found at PMI. it will be nice to have my monday and tuesday evenings free again, and it will also be nice to have some time to read a book..it's been too long since i've read for pleasure, and not just to learn the location and function of muscles or bones, or the affects of massage on different diseases and what not. don't get me wrong, that stuff is all amazingly cool..but i will be really happy to read a book that i don't have to use my brain so much for. :)

when i was in high school, i had the awesomest sunday school teachers...they must have really loved our group, too, because they moved with us from 9th or 10th grade the whole way up...even to college age (and presumably beyond, but i don't know because i moved south at the ripe old age of 22). i remember each time it was time for us to "graduate" to the next class, there would be this unspoken sadness, like a family having to leave its parents..and then we would find out that E & L were moving with us, and all was right again. i really thank God for them, not only did they help to build my faith, they really challenged our beliefs...encouraged us to question what we'd been taught and to find it to be true for ourselves, rather than just because that's what sister so & so told us when we were eight. they asked hard questions, answered difficult ones...and admitted when they didn't know things. they were teachers, mentors, and friends of the heart.  they encouraged us, reprimanded us, and guided us, all with the most genuine love. i miss them. lots.

that little tangent was inspired by my verse of the day-it made me think of them because one of my favorite translations of this verse is in The Message...or as we called it in sunday school, "the hippie bible" we had a whole stack of them, and adding to their "groovy-ness" was the fact that our pile was totally from the 70s, man. :)

without further ado:
"Just as water mirrors your face,
your face mirrors your heart."
Proverbs 27:19

this is what makes me smile:
remembering "the good ole days"
(the most awesome s.s. teachers ever are bottom right, kind of a not so great photo of them, but the only one i have on the computer. gotta get that scanner hooked up one of these days...)

last week was not a really great one for me. by that i mean that i did not react to situations in the way that i wish i would have. i feel like i failed a test...and now i'll probably have to re-take it. heheh


i am routinely amazed at God's timing...His perfect timing...and yet-i still struggle to truly trust Him. why?? He always, always comes through..not in amy-time but in God-time, and it is always good. and i always end up feeling foolish for worrying instead of just being faithful and waiting on Him. if i've said it once, i've said it six hundred million times-patience is not my strongest attribute. siiigh. i shared with a friend this week that i've always been afraid to ask God to grant me patience because when i was very young, my (hopefully well-meaning) Granny told me to never ask God for patience, because then He would heap trial after trial upon me until i was patient enough to endure anything. :/ soo..i've finally started asking for patience. haha. it certainly can't hurt. 


speaking of trials being heaped up on you...i've got a few recurring difficulties which cause me particular weakness of spirit. God really knows what He is doing. when He wants to test a person's faith, He goes straight for the gut. He so totally knows what our biggest fears and snares are. of course He would use those things to bring us down to a place where we feel we can no longer fight or do anything for ourselves. He's a smart dude. why waste trials on issues that are easy to be faithful in? 


so i had some temper tantrums and behaved like a spoiled little turd for a few days. all the while feeling like a failure as a believer and a human, and also feeling like i just wasn't getting something right..i MUST be doing something wrong to constantly have to go through these struggles...right? 


thankfully, the Lord has placed some really awesome, encouraging, tough-loving folks in my life who told me what i needed to hear, rather than only what i wanted to hear. God's truth is not always easy to take, but how awesome is it that He loves us enough to give it to us anyway? 


now skip to today, when my pastor spoke about....trusting God and finding joy EVEN THROUGH TRIALS AND STRUGGLES. hahaa. of course he did.  the cool part was that, instead of feeling chastised through the whole service, i felt lovingly reassured and redirected. 


trials are meant to test our faith. God doesn't allow them unless there is something we need to learn from them. He won't abandon us..He wants to bring us low-so low we can do no more ourselves and we (finally!) cry out to Him because we realize that we really are nothing without Him. some of us are blessed to realize this fact sooner than others. ;) and some of us are stubborn, or feeling unworthy of His rescue. trials build our faith by bringing us closer to the Lord, pointing us toward Him & His blessings, humbling us, enabling us to encourage others. what a freeing thought to realize that we don't have to do anything except to let Him love us. how amazing is that? how blessed are we to serve a God whose greatest desire is to love us, and be loved by us??? nothing else matters when you realize this. 


i am thankful that the Creator of the Universe and Most Holy King loves me enough to test my faith and refine me by trial in order to mold me into a remarkable masterpiece, fit to be the bride of the Prince of Peace, His Son. wow. i am the luckiest girl in the world. ♥ 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the death, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief through all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1:3-9


this is what makes me smile:
my oldest favorite song.

growing is not always a very fun process.

i am so thankful for the friendships God has blessed me with. even when everything seems to pile on top of me at once, i know, in addition to having Him to lean on, they will also be there to show me His love. and to make me giggle.

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." C.S.Lewis

"Praise Him, sun and moon: praise Him, all you stars of light." Psalm 148:3

this is what makes me smile:
God's creativity.

"Delight yourself in the Lord
and He will give you
the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

this verse has literally confounded me for about a decade. seriously. and today, i was blessed to see what it means. duh. the blinders were lifted, and i feel  kinda silly that i didn't "get it" before. but i am so thankful that i do now. i just keep chuckling, and thinking, "really, amy? really?" so simple. yet so hard to do. all these years i've been trying soo hard to understand what it means, really means, to delight myself in the Lord, beyond the obvious finding joy in none other but the Lord. understanding that all joy comes from Him. allowing myself to find all my joy in Him. WHY have i been looking beyond that? did i really think it couldn't be that simple??

in order to find joy in life, we must first find joy in the Lord. yeah. i know. DUH.

to find joy, to be joyful...to DELIGHT in the Lord...

you must recognize yourself as a sinner. check. i don't know if there is anyone alive who recognizes themselves as a sinner as much as i do (see...there it is again, boastfulness & pride. high-mindedness. i sin. all. the. time.)..

you must confess your sins. to God and to those you have wronged. this one i am not as good at. i tend to confess sin in general terms, and i'm not good at asking forgiveness if i've sinned against someone say, a long while ago & i figure that maybe they didn't even realize it, or that they've already forgiven me without me even asking..or that maybe by asking forgiveness i will bring it to light and cause them greater distress than if i just let it go. i am working on this. as well as being more specific.

you must trust that God is going to and has extended His Grace to you, through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, and His amazing Love....and accept His forgiveness as whole and permanent. this is hard for me, too...because i know i don't deserve it.

but that is where the amazing thankfulness & gratefulness comes from. if you know that God extends His mercy and grace to you... even though you don't deserve it, because He LOVES YOU SO MUCH....what else really matters? 

and this brings joy. joy unspeakable. and full of glory.

and this. finding your joy in the Lord. not your job, not your family, not money, not in the glorious beauty around you, not in relationships, not in possessions, not in ANYTHING other than HIM...this is delighting yourself in the Lord. you may find joy in all those other things...but first, find a high degree of gratification, extreme satisfaction,  excessive happiness and felicity in Him..and then, when you recognize that nothing, no one will ever afford you joy in the way that He can, and will...then He will give you the desires of your heart. ♥

duh.
for real.

isn't it awesome, and also slightly annoying to AHAAAAAA, figure something out that you've known all along??

thank you, veterans. i may not always agree with the fight, but i will always support the warriors.

"Be strong, and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

this is what makes me smile:
my heroes...my two favorite grandfathers.

John "Jack" Evans 
US Navy, Photographer
Served in the South Pacific during the Korean War

Albert "Ike" Eichelberger

US Army Air Corps, Aircraft Mechanic

Served in the Pacific during World War II

interesting.

my hours got cut today. within the span of a 3 minute conversation, my income was shrunken...by a pretty sizable portion.

i guess now i know why verses like matthew  7:11, that portion in matthew 6, luke 12:7-24ish, etc., etc. have been "popping up" everywhere the past couple of weeks.

preparation is good. reminders are also good. i'm thankful. and hopeful. and almost sort of excited to see what will happen now. oh, the possibilities.

this is what makes me smile:
the moon.

i have nothingtowriteitis.

yet again, matt 6 has been tossed at me. i'm starting to think God is trying to tell me something...heheh

"Who is like You, O Lord God Almighty? You are mighty, Jehovah, and your faithfulness surrounds you." Psalm 89:8

this is what makes me smile:
this guy ♥

"I will sing of the mercies of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations."
Psalm 89:1

this is what makes me smile:
feeling small.

sometimes you have to scrape the bottom of the barrel before you get to the good stuff.
hitting the bottom....it's not really fun. especially when you are trying to claw your way back out on  your own. you admit to yourself, and even to God and maybe a close friend or two, that you are having hard times. still, it seems like nothing improves. you just need a boost to reach the rim so you can pull yourself up again. you can SEE the light...and that's almost worse than not being able to see it...
it's remarkable how things can start to look up when you come down off that shaky "i can do it myself" scaffolding and just ask for some help. admitting that you need it isn't easy, but maybe that's the point. following through. being obedient. shutting out your own stubbornness (which you sometimes get mixed up with "not wanting to be a bother") and pride...
admitting that you can't do it alone might just open the doors you've been searching for the keys to. maybe when you obey, you will find an awesome ramp builder who will teach you and help you to find the tools you need to get back to the top of the barrel....or maybe they will just throw you a rope.

♥
"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity a man who has no friend to help him!" Ecclesiastes 4:10

this is what makes me smile:
this ridiculous sunrise.

i am struggling with a craptastic attitude problem today. mffpht. and i'm going to take full responsibility for my crankiness. the fact that i am constantly being barraged with pettiness, ridiculous complaining...and overall grumpiness, rudeness, etc., etc., etc. is NOT a good excuse. also, i am now complaining about complaining. the irony is not lost on me.

ERASE. REWIND. trying it again tomorrow, and hopefully i will be able to not get caught in the trap of negativity, but will be able to let the crap roll off of me like rain on a windshield which has been treated with rain-x ....pass me the complain-x.

pretty straightforward:
"Do everything without complaining or arguing." Philippians 2:14..

this is what makes me smile:
workin' on it.

today, the first thing i heard when i got to work, "oh, hey miss amy. you look like a tootsie roll today."

hahaa.

Word:
"The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." Proverbs 27:9

this is what makes me smile:.
cute nieces.

Leeland: The Live Sessions - "I Wonder"

i, in my ridiculous human pride, have been attempting to take care of myself and my daughter. as i was pondering a possible future opportunity i was kind of yelled at.

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?!" Matt 7:11
(this one was thrown at me twice today. :) )

"I will continue to carry you even when you are old. I will take good care of you even when your hair is gray. I have made you. And I will carry you. I will take care of you. And I will save you. I am the Lord." Isaiah 46:4

"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they do not sow or reap or gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of much more valuable to him than they are?
Who of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
And why do you worry about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil, nor do they spin: yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed as beautifully as one of them.
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into an oven, will he not much more clothe you? O you of little faith!
So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. But let your first concern be for his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be given to you." Matt 6:25-33

This is what makes me smile:
hearing.