"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for!"

Jeremiah 29:11-The Message

sometimes it's good to have a reminder. 

2012, you were weird, and you made me cry a lot. and laugh a lot. i am glad i met you, but i have to say, i'm not really that sad to see you go. 

on to the next!

this is what makes me smile:
freshity freshness.
you'll have to imagine what that one looks like for yourself.

peace.

sometimes, when you're by yourself, feeling pretty alone, and you're maybe having a teeny melt down, shouting to God-not in a voice of triumph or a voice of praise, but in a voice of defeat and confusion-and as soon as the shout pauses because you are tiiiired,  THIS song comes on the radio....well, it's hard not to feel like the God of the Universe is listening only to you, and you are His favorite. and He loves you. more.

this is what makes me smile.
feeling refocused.

Murrah Crumus, ya'll.

top ten awesome things about christmas 2012

1. it's Christmas. Jesus still loves me, and would come to earth as a poor little baby again tomorrow if i needed Him to. Hey Jesus, it's Your birthday, we're gonna party like it's Your birthday. (yeah i know. not the actual DATE..but the day we celebrate..can you believe someone actually tried to start an argument about this with me this week? hahah ohhh, people.)
2. family time. i love it. even when it's insane, chaotic, and overly....warm. 
3. IT SNOWED. first white christmas i can recall in over a decade..sweet. :)
4. gifts..i got super awesome gifts this year. yeah. i'm going there. why were they so awesome? because every single one of them showed evidence that the person who gave it to me cares enough about me to know what things i enjoy. ♥
5. gifts..the ones i gave were winners. not to toot my own horn.. i love to see people's faces light up when they open up a gift they actually like. :)
6. sledding. on christmas. yeah, i know i mentioned the snow already, but not all snow is sled-able. this was. and it was fun. 
7. the guinea pig is still alive. he somehow picked up a bad respiratory infection which we were assured would likely kill him in days. he's squeaking at me right now. :)
8. we did not have to watch "A Christmas Story." instead, it was a marathon of "Lord of the Rings."
9. there is another storm on the way, so both my sisters and their families are staying another day...or two. YAY! more niece & nephew time!!
10. the mayans were wrong. hahah not that i believed that silly nonsense...but at least i don't have to hear about it any more! 

this is what makes me smile:

unexpected christmas snow.

:)

i guess when i'm not "being thankful" i can't think of anything to write. huh. how about that..

random fact of the day: i saw a kid with a bright orange afro today. it's his natural hair color. it. is. perfect.

this is what makes me smile:
christmas trees....even when they are crooked, undecorated, & unevenly lit. heheh

today i have too many things to write about. i will only choose one. big brother. in the form of live feed classroom cameras. um...does anyone else out there think this is a horrible idea?

sure, it's good for parents to be able to keep an eye on their kids, and their kids' teachers..but how close an eye do they really need to keep? i mean..is it really fair that anyone who happens to be in the scope of the cameras will never be able to pick a wedgie without an audience? or what if you forget to wash your hands after blowing your nose one time? is someone going to call you out on that?

i had a grandmother picking up her grandson this afternoon, who walked into the room with the biggest, proudest, glowing smile on her face as she loudly proclaimed, "N!! you took a NAP today!! we are SOOO PROUD OF YOU!" to which both N and i replied simultaneously, "nuh uh." haha. and then grandma proceeded to argue with me (me-the chick who sat beside N for the better part of an hour TRYING to get him to sleep, but not succeeding, and finally giving up-only to have him wake up the children on every side of his cot..grrr), saying, "well his mom said he slept." end of discussion.  ? his mom works 25 miles away...oh, yeah...the cameras. well, sorry granny. she didn't see what she thought she saw. 

i am not a fan. there were also a few parents who burst through the doors wearing much less proud faces..and who were yelling about their child's poor behavior before they even said hello. :/ yeah. camera surveillance is a terrific idea. 

sike.

this is what makes me smile:

...at least there aren't any cameras in the bathroom. 

i forgot that i originally intended to only have thankful posts until Turkey Day...oh well. it's good to be thankful. most times when i think of the word thankful or thanksgiving, it takes me back to the 80's and the first Bible verse that i chose to voluntarily memorize. "enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. be thankful unto Him, and bless His Name." Psalm 100:4 :) a good one, i think. i was probably around 7 or 8.

Day 30:
today at work i thought of what i was going to write here. and now i forget what it was. heheh. oh what a poor short term memory i have!
i am thankful for chick fil a's ice dream. it is delicious. i am thankful for this crazy, sometimes incredibly boring, but still good life i've been given, and i am thankful for opportunities to serve my God and bless the people around me. and i am thankful for you, whoever you are, for reading this thing.
i am thankful that i am thankful.

this is what makes me smile:
finding an old picture of my dad in a tree stand...and then taking a pic of a pic ghetto style instead of scanning it. heheh.

what a weird week.
both good weird and not so good weird. just plain weird. when a toddler wants to eat paint, there is nothing you can do or say that is going to stop him. just saying.

Day 26:
Thankful that i was able to convince one of my sisters to stay with us for the week! YAY!! more sweet niece hugs & kisses!

Day 27:
i was thankful that it wasn't day 26 and i didn't have to repeat that day of work. heheh. jk. (mostly)
i was thankful for snow. even though it didn't snow enough to be pretty.

Day 28:
i am thankful for my friends. i have more than i deserve..a strong core of people who i know i can turn to if i am freaking out (good or bad), if i need advice, or just a listening ear, people i can rejoice with, praise God with, do nothing with... and people who feel the same way about me.

Day 29:
i am thankful for technology.

this is what makes me smile:
a picture i will insert later, when i can think of something that won't make me feel embarrassed.
:)

it's c-c-cold outside with snow flurries and wind. lots of wind. inside, it's cozy and warm and the house is filled with family. i LOVE this time of year. 

so much laughter, some tears, lots of laundry and dishes, and a general air of chaotic happiness. :) good times.

Day 23:

friday, i was thankful for my daughter, especially. she is so caring and helpful. she is smart, and funny, and beautiful. she loves my Jesus, and is growing closer to Him every day, and this makes me happier than  anything else in the world ever could. ♥

Day 24:

thankful for surprises. and for a hopeful future. 

Day 25:

i am thankful for heat. brr. and socks. and scarves and hats and sweaters and blankets, and for people to snuggle with. :)

this is what makes me smile:

moe.

it's the big day...my favorite holiday of the year. my family is gathered together, my nieces are running around holding hands-the cutest thing i've ever seen. my giant baby nephew keeps trying to eat my tiny baby niece. and my kiddo gets to be the cool big cousin. my sisters & their husbands are here...somehow i always forget the amount of hilarity that happens when we are all together. my cheeks hurt and i've laughed so hard i cried more times than i can count already.  there are pies in the oven, turkey waiting to be FRIED, and a big ole batch of my mom's mom's home made stuffing-which is not stuffed into anything but a bowl. haha.
i am so thankful for all the blessings i have been afforded in this life. my heart is full. ♥ happy thanksgiving.

Day 21:
i am thankful that my relatives are some of the most ridiculously amusing people i have ever met. i love being surrounded by funny funnies.

Day 22:
i am thankful for this mixed up crazy series of days on this earth that i have called life. and i am also thankful for the days i have ahead. live it up, people.

this is what makes me smile:
today, everything.
:)

oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh myyyyy gooooooodddnnnneeeessssss.

today i had a GREAT day at work. i think it is mostly because i got to spend the day with a class-full (mostly) of kids that i have taught over the past 4 years. i know those guys. i know how they are, their quirks, their humors, their bathroom habits...too much? okay. i will NEVER get tired of hearing a kid delightedly yell, "MISSS AAAAAMY!!!!!," run toward me, and fling their arms around me in the most honest hug ever. never, ever, ever.
today i heard everything from, "why did YOU come back?" to, "oooh, miss amy...i LOVE the sparkles in your hair!" (ha! gray. :) ) to, "i missed you so, so, so, so, so, so much...wanna play UNO?"
it was fun. and i hope i get to do it again tomorrow. :)

Day 20: bonus
today i was thankful for all the crappy days at work i have had over the past four years. hearing a 6 year old say to a younger kid who i never had in class, "rhyming words have different beginnings but the same endings. you know...word families? didn't you learn that in miss amy's class??" made me realize that some of them were actually listening. :)

this is what makes me smile:
remembering. (wow...never realized my artwork displays, etc. were hung in such an OCD manner! yikes!!)

i didn't realize it was tuesday already. well...that's something for me to be thankful for in a week when i get to see my far away family on wednesday!

Day 18:
i am thankful to have the freedom to worship or not worship any god i choose. and i am thankful that the God i choose, chose me first.

Day 19:
i am thankful for employment. wait..did i already say that?

Day 20:
i am thankful it's tuesday already and i get to see my far away family in one day! (i KNOW i already said that.)

this is what makes me smile:
not realizing i had my shoes on for over 16hrs. today. they are comfy.

guess i've missed a couple of days here...things have been kinda nutty around & i've been not feeling so great. blah blah blah excuses..

Day 13:
i was thankful for plumbers. septic problems are no fun. no fun at all...

Day 14:
i was thankful for clean clothing to wear.

Day 15:
i was thankful to have a job.

Day 16:
i am thankful for modern medicine, even though i think it is WAY over used...sometimes it's really helpful.

Day 17:
i am thankful that i have a lot of cleaning and things to do today, because it's in preparation for a visit with my sisters and their adorable kids.

this is what makes me smile:
surprise banana cream pie.

i am not good at being a friend. it happens over and over. i find a friend, we get a long really well, have fun together, learn to trust each other. time goes by, we grow. we change. our friendship does the same. we over look one another's faults, help each other to change if we can, and accept help when we need it. we are honest. we talk, we listen, we advise, and even admonish. we argue, we apologize, we forgive. friendship. that is what i wish i could be thankful for today.

Day 12:
today i am thankful for honesty. even when it comes way too late.

this is what makes me smile:
being real, even when real is unusual.

Day 11:
today i am thankful that it's Veteran's Day, so i have something to feel thankful about. i mean, if i didn't feel thankful for the brave men and women who put their lives on the line for my greater good, what kind of human would i be, anyway?

this is what makes me smile:
my daughter. and not a whole heck of a lot else today.


God bless all our Veterans.

whoopsie. yesterday was a day full of ups & downs...i woke up refreshed, because i was so grumpy day before that i'd made myself go to bed early..got some nice news in the morning, saw some people i hadn't seen for months & received a few heartfelt hugs, had a rather easy morning at work doing some office-y type work for most of the time..and then i got a call that literally caused my breath to catch, and my heart to crumble. noone died. but i got some terrible news, and thought the rest of the day was definitely sunk. nope. the afternoon was revived after spending some sweet quality time with my kiddo, and then spending some more time with my kiddo. had a good talk with an old friend, and forgot to update this blog.

Day 9:
yesterday i was definitely thankful for the caring teachers and staff at my daughter's school. those people are great, and it's awesome when you are blessed with people as educators and support staff who genuinely care about your child's welfare.

Day 10:
i am thankful for the beauty of a sunset.

this is what makes me smile:

today was not my favorite. i want to yell and whine about the insanely crappy afternoon i had, but then i start to feel guilty because many people have much more to complain about i do. seriously, though..it sucked.

Day 8:
today i am thankful that even when i am in a foul mood, i am reminded that things could always be much worse.

this is what makes me smile:
looking at really old stuff.

i am not, under normal circumstances, a diva. or anything close to a diva. but today i totally was. and it sucked. i actually may have been less "diva" and more "actually standing up for myself and what i want"...but i felt like a diva, nonetheless. i am not a fan.

Day 7:
today, i am thankful to have good health. so many people who i grew up knowing have passed away in the past few weeks, that it has left me kind of reeling. people younger than my parents-who are relatively young compared to parents of most people my age. some who didn't take care of themselves, and fell into disease because of poor self-maintenance. some who were in that boat, but worked hard to turn their lives around...just a little too late. and some, who, despite respecting their bodies were eaten alive by cancer. i am really thankful that in heaven, there will be no disease. 

this is what makes me smile:
longevity.

Day 6:
thankful to live in a country where i have amazing rights, privileges, and freedoms.

this is what makes me smile:
exercising my civic duty.

Day 5
today i am thankful that after tomorrow this ridiculous presidential campaign will finallly be over. then we will get to hear the winner say "neener, neener." and the loser will cry foul & demand recounts and investigations of voter fraud, etc...i hate politics.

this is what makes me smile:
reflections.

woohoo. the sun came out today. for the entirety of the daylight hours. it was fantastic, because the past 11 days were full on clouds. tropical clouds for about half that time.

Day 4
today i am thankful to live close to a town, but not IN a town.

this is what makes me smile:
kittens.

aaand i missed a day already. heheh. i have a decent excuse, though. i spent the afternoon/evening/and well into the night making my niece's birthday present. she is a huge disney princess fan...what 3 year old girl isn't?? so, i decided i was going to make her a rapunzel wig, "Tangled" style. i went out and found all the supplies i needed (it is ridiculously difficult to find yellow yarn. i ended up with a pale yellow textured "baby" yarn), came home and got busy. about 10 minutes into the project i made a grim discovery. someone, at some point while i was away for the summer, spilled something very sticky on my sewing machine. no good. i am now sewing machine-less with a few previously promised projects coming due in the next couple of weeks. i am facing a bit of a conundrum. anyway, because of the death (no fixing that sticky mess..i tried for nearly an hour.) of my machine, i was forced to do the sewing by hand. blarrrgh. there was a whole lot of yarn cutting, untangling, gluing, sewing, untangling, braiding, untangling, re-braiding, and decorating. hot glue really hurts...this was the end result:

and now on to the thankfulness..

Day 2
yesterday, i was thankful for rice. it is so very versatile. 

Day 3
today i am thankful to have a place to live. i have friends who don't, and it sucks to not be able to do much to help them. it also makes me think about how close i am to being in the same situation.

this is what makes me smile:
it was a winner.

i have been meaning to get back to this...

to get back into the swing of things, i am going to hop onto the "22 days of thanks" bandwagon. that's right, i'm going to post one thing i am thankful for every day, right up until the "Big Day" when i will celebrate all these blessings around a table piled high with delicious food, and in the company of a group of crazies. i do love Thanksgiving. 

Day 1

i am thankful for my family. yep...took the easy way out here, but it's true. i love each and every member of my family, and i wouldn't have a different set of strange individuals to call my clan if i was offered the world in exchange.

this is what makes me smile:

weirdos to call my very own.

O LORD, You have searched me and You know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. 
Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O LORD.


You hem me in-behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me. 
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.


Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I go to flee from Your Presence? 
If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast. ♥


If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light will become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.


For You created me in my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.
When I  was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before even one of them came to be. ♥


How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You.


If only You would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of You with evil intent; Your adversaries misuse Your name. Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against You? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.


Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. ♥


Psalm 139




This is what makes me smile:
flowers.

some things of note that occurred this week (in no particular order):

• a huge turkey waddled across the road in front of me.
• thunder shook my house at night.
• i found out that the road closure which forced me to re-route my drive to and from work never actually happened, so i've been going "the back way" for two weeks for no reason.
• my sister and her family came for a visit. ♥
• i saw a swan, a great blue heron, a bald eagle, a bluebird, a sparrow, and a hawk...all in the same day.
• my daughter cleaned her room without being asked. !
• a deer snorted and pawed the ground in my general direction...like a bull. i have never thought a deer was about to kill me before. it was an interesting experience...and one i don't want to repeat.
• while i was walking, an f-15 flew over, escorting a small plane to a local airport..loud.
• i found a HUGE four leaf clover...and i didn't pick it. i want to see how big it will get.
• i wrote a really boring blog post.
• on friday (today), i thought it was thrusday all day..until around 7:30 pm..then i had the greatest evening ever. well maybe not ever, but it was a good one.
• there was a cloud that looked just like a scorpion hovering above the sun at sunset.
• i was blessed to wake up every day and to serve a faithful God who loves me with an everlasting love.

Colossians 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

this is what makes me smile:

little girls + flowers. 

have you ever stood on the edge of a 2 foot drop off, and imagined that the weeds you saw below you were really trees, the drop was actually a 100 ft cliff, and instead of a man made lake, you were looking down at the ocean?
if not, you should give it a whirl. it's pretty cool to feel like a giant. :)

the picture doesn't do the moment justice, but here it is, none the less.

"The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice!" Psalm 97:1

so, i have a bit of a temper. there have been times in my life when i have let my ill temper get the best of me. anger clouds my judgement and my actions become most uncivil. i have a pile of scraps of paper and post-it notes with various bible verses and other words of wisdom scrawled on them. i think half the book of proverbs is filled with words that implore us to be slow to anger, have self-control, and to just chilllllll out. you would think all those verses calling people like me foolish, senseless, and evil would be enough to set me straight. i cannot tell you how many times i've repeated "in your anger, do not sin"...through clenched teeth.
when i am not feeling angry, i don't understand it myself. what in the world could possibly cause me to feel so full of AAARRGGGH that i just blow off all of those great reminders of being peaceable, gentle, and calm?
anyway, the taming of the temper is one thing i am really working on right now.
yesterday i got kind of upset..not really at any one thing, but just some things that have built up over time, and i felt like having a freak out.  instead, i went for a walk. this is not unusual...i often take a walk to try to blow off some steam, but yesterday i took a different route and just after i'd turned around to head home, i came across this:

it gave me a giggle..cleaning up my trash on a walk with Jesus, down a road maintained by the Lamb of God.
heheh good stuff.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption of the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:3-8

with apologies to Ed McCurdy, "last night, i had the strangest dream.."
it was really stormy, and huge claps of thunder kept interrupting my dream cycle, so it was like one big dream, in vignettes..

in the first part, han and i were getting off a plane, carrying satchels, and wearing long flowy skirts. the wind was blowing, it was sunny but sort of hazy, and we were walking down the plane's stairs, directly onto a tarmac. i don't know where we were going to or coming from, but we were happy, and i felt fulfilled.
next, we were at my father's house. it was new, and huge. there were two ENORMOUS trees in the front yard, and one was dead. i was standing on the front porch, watching my father as he was making plans to cut the tree down.

at this point, i think i woke up completely, and when i fell back to sleep i was dreaming that i was at a picnic with some friends, at the place where we went when i was very young to have our church picnics. there were a bunch of kids splashing around in the stream where i used to catch water skippers..i remembered how cold the water was. my friend was telling me that her husband wouldn't be joining us because he was at home enjoying his newest pastime...taking a dust bath. like a chinchilla.

back at my father's house, the huge dead tree was cut down, except for the massive trunk...i suddenly thought, "we should carve a house out of that!!" so i ran to where my dad was standing with an axe in front of the trunk, and started to tell him my idea. he just kinda nodded at the tree..and suddenly there was a door in the trunk, and i could see that someone had already made it into an awesome little cottage.
inside the trunk house there were three levels that kind of spiraled up toward the ceiling, which was made of what looked like moss or something..on the inside and the outside. there was one stairway in the middle, really more of a ladder, which you could use to climb up to any of the levels if you didn't want to walk through the rooms that made up the spiral. it was freaking awesome. it sort of reminded me of something you'd find in the shire, except that it had a washer and dryer on the lowest level, and i'm pretty sure that hobbits hand wash their clothing. haha.

i explored this awesome little cottage some more, and upon exiting, my father handed me a big, wooden skeleton key.

insert incredibly loud, house-shaking thunder...
i was disappointed to have been so rudely excused from that dream. i totally wanted to move in and make it my home. i tried to fall back to sleep quickly, but that was one whopper of a storm, so i reminded myself how much i love thunderstorms and i'm pretty sure that i eventually fell back to sleep with a smile on my face. :)

unfortunately, the last part of the dream that i remember was not pleasant at all..i won't go into details because it disturbs me, but it involved one of my sisters becoming angry about the tree house, and trying to throw herself down the stairs. :/

what impresses me most about this odd little collection of dreamlets is that, aside from the last part, i remember feeling very peaceful and happy. normally, i guess i have feelings in my dreams, but i don't always feel so vividly. the other thing that is very interesting to me is the trunk cottage. i kind of consider myself to be a bit of a vagabond..not to the extent that i would be if money was no object and hannah didn't like her school so much..but a wanderer and explorer in spirit if not in flesh. though i have often daydreamed about having a little farm or cabin somewhere, it's never been one of the pressing urges guiding my life. i kind of like the idea of being able to pick up and go. i guess i could be happy either way..but have always felt kind of drawn to the idea of moving around and seeing "the world"...... but i am jabbering here.
the thing about the dream is that i had a house. and i was super excited about it. i think there's some obvious symbolism in the house being made of a huge tree that literally had roots. also about my father preparing a place for me that exceeded anything i could have dreamed up on my own.
when i was thinking back about this dream during the day, it brought to mind when Jesus said,
"in my Father's house are many dwellings, if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." John 14:2
i've always loved this passage of scripture when Jesus told the disciples that He was leaving, but only for a little while, so that He could get a place ready for us...♥.."and if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto Myself; that where I am , you may be also." John 14:3

i had a really good idea for a blog post a few hours ago...
then i ran around outside for a while and got really tired and accidentally fell asleep for a few hours.
now, i have a crick in my neck from sleeping unexpectedly in an unusual position, my clothes that were in the dryer are wrinkled beyond un-wrinkling without rewashing (i sooo don't iron), my hair is in the same state as my clothing because it was wet when i fell asleep, and i can only remember that my awesome writing idea started out with a thought i had while applying 7 band-aids to different spots on my feet.
new seasons=new shoes=blisters. a life lesson. heheh. there were going to be thoughts on the process of blisters eventually becoming seasoned areas that can "take the pressure" over time..there was going to be a reminder that Jesus is the balm to our aching, bloody feet, and where we are too weak to walk alone, we can remember that He walks before us.   it was good, i'm telling you. heheh
as it is, i am thankful for my wonky, spontaneous nap. it was oddly refreshing in its unplanned-ness. sometimes i get caught up too much in needing to know things. what's going on, when and how it's going to happen..etc. for someone who is so not-so-great at making plans, i surely like to be in on them. you know, get a glimpse of that elusive "big picture." ...so my nap changed my plans? it's cool. i can roll with it.
i am actually kind of a pro at rolling with it. hahahaa.
and when i am NOT feeling like a pro at rolling with it, or that rolling with it is even OKAY...there's this:
"for i am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

and this is what makes me smile:
chicks.

i really  hope my daughter never outgrows her love of playgrounds.
some people lose their youthful glee much too early...in fact, i don't see why you have to lose it at all.
something magical happens inside of me when i see a swing, a slide, or a merry go round. haaha
when i think about how rickety the playground equipment was when i was a kid, i am almost amazed that so many of us survived. some of those climbers were INSANE!!, and would never be considered "up to code" today...then again, my favorite climbers were trees, and i doubt those would be considered safe either.
while the kiddo & i were out and about we came across this beauty:

that's right, folks...a genuine "QUALITY ZOOM SLIDE"
now, i don't know how many of you have had the pleasure of zooming down one of these babies, but let me tell you...they are just as fast (or not, if you're wearing shorts) as they were in 1986.

today, the kiddo and i explored a part of the park we've never visited before. we were in search of an old meeting house and cemetery...it was kind of a spur of the moment decision to go there, it was such a nice day after a string of cold, rainy ones..i had to be outside! anyway, if i'd thought about it earlier, i would have looked up the park map, and would have been able to easily find the church. instead, i relied on my memory of what i'd viewed a while back...and ended up taking us on a nice ramble through the woods. instead of a straight 1/2 mile or so down a gravel path, we tromped along the mountain bike trail..we saw a bunny, lots of bees, and two does, who looked less surprised to see us than we were to see them. we never did end up at the meeting house..i guess we'll do that another day. :)

"God saw everything that He had made, and indeed, it was very good." Genesis 1:31

don't worry, i actually have pretty mediocre self esteem.

who can clear a nasty bathtub clog, replace a shower head and make a killer coffee cake, all in the same afternoon? yeah, it's me. no need to fret, i washed my hands. 

i really can do all things, through Him who strengthens me. :) ...even when clearing that clog made me almost toss my cookies, i pinched my finger while tightening the shower head, and almost burnt the coffee cake. heheh 


mmmm...

today i am thankful. i am reminding myself that i am thankful...i am in a rotten mood. probably because i haven't been sleeping well, allergies are kicking my butt (or my head), and things that i can normally just let bounce off me are piercing my armor. 

i am thankful for my family. most especially my awesome kiddo who i am blessed to enjoy spending time with. working with kids (and parents), i see so many people who genuinely love their children-but don't seem to really like them very much. my daughter has always been highly entertaining at the very least, and i am really enjoying getting to know the young lady she is becoming. she is w-e-i-r-d. and i am soooo glad. there wasn't much hope for her to be otherwise. haha. i'm also thankful that my sisters keep having cute babies for me to cuddle and spoil. being an aunt rocks my socks.

i am thankful that it rained today and washed some of the pollen out of the air and off my car. 

i am even thankful for the pollen. 

i am thankful for my job. and that my boss seems to like me. and that she asked me to come back in the fall.

i'm thankful that, even though i DO enjoy my job (for the most part), i have only FIVE more weeks of work until i get to take a break and spend the summer helping my sister out with her crazy little monster. :) BLESSED!!!!!!

i am thankful for my friends. especially the ones who make me laugh...also thankful for laughter. i need it. i think i am addicted to it. 

i'm thankful for the guy who held the door open for me at the dollar store this afternoon, and also thankful that the bag i was carrying didn't break until after i got to the car. 

i'm thankful for Ephesians 6:10-18 because it gets me through so much. what a blessing to have all those powerful tools. ♥ as soon as i am finished here, i am going to go read it again...even though i've been able to quote it since i was 6. on that note, i am thankful for junior bible quiz...even though it used to make me have anxiety attacks and i never actually competed because i was too busy throwing up in the trash can. heheh  the only question i ever answered because even practicing made me ill..."what does Golgotha mean?" and i am thankful for kenny brown, who whispered the answer to me. heheehh. 2 points to you, reader, if you know the answer without googling.

i am thankful for the crazy beautiful sunrise this morning, and that i was driving to work so i could see it. 

ok i am feeling slightly less grumbly now.

this is what makes me smile:

kids who run up to me and ask, "Miss Amy!!! Can I draw your FACE???" :)

i am so frustrated with people who are mean and nasty and who stereotype and judge others because of their physical appearance, intellect, social status, etc.
i have to repeat to myself, "in your anger do not sin." so often that it seems like i am shouting it at myself in my mind. reacting to situations that hurt other people in a right way is soooo hard for me sometimes. :/ especially when the people being so hateful claim to be followers of my Jesus.
i know that "beating" people with the Word is not the proper response but sometimes i just want to scream...

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Matthew 22:36-40

"You have heard it said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your Father is perfect."
Matthew 5:42-48

"Love suffers long, and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; it does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

sometimes it's good to remind myself, too. i need to have love for these meanie pants people. and not grumble at them in my heart. or outloud....or on my blog, i suppose. i am so aggravated. grah. and sad. and that makes me mad.
how hard is it, really, to treat others with kindness and respect?!? i know i have been guilty of unkind words...so i will go shout to myself what i feel like shouting at others. and i will pray for them. and for me. and for all the people who were hurt by words or deeds today. :c

oh the joys of getting new toys. :)

i have never been a fan of putting apples in smoothies-they just don't break down the way most fruits do. (same with carrots.) so, upon opening my shiny new NINJA blender, i threw in 2 apples, 2 clementines, some oj and a banana. the result was sublime. there were still some bits of apple about the size you think of as in applesauce..but not many, and none as big as typical oj pulp. i was pleasantly surprised.

i am often overcome by the crazy intricate creations all around us. when i was taking anatomy and physiology, along with health and nutrition...it was ridiculous to see how perfectly we have been provided for. nearly every ailment can be aided by enjoying a fruit, vegetable, or other plant/nut/seed that contains whatever it is your body is lacking.

for example, my spur of the moment smoothie-there is a wealth of health benefits in that 30 oz pitcher..i'm just going to keep my fruit praise to the banana for now, or i'll be here writing all night. bananas are full of vitamin B6, vitamin C, potassium and magnesium..as well as fiber.
B6 deficiencies can cause insomnia, irritability, and fatigue, eating just half a banana can help to boost your energy, and supposedly, your mood.
Potassium helps to regulate blood pressure and also helps to reduce any muscle cramping you may have after the spur-of-the-moment jog you enjoyed after that boost in energy you got from the banana.
Vitamin C is probably the most common vitamin you think of when healthy supplements come to mind. It is widely known for its ability to help strengthen the immune system, but C also helps to detoxify our bodies, and promotes cellular healing, removes heavy metals, destroys "bad" bacteria and viruses, and much more. One of it's most important and overlooked jobs is to aid in the body's absorption of iron, which is essential in proper oxygenation...oxygen is important. heheh. low iron absorption/anemia can cause fatigue, anxiety, irritability, sleepiness, tinnitus(ringing in the ears), constipation, heart palpitations, mouth ulcers, depression, hair loss, and more. no wonder Vitamin C is such a popular guy.. and i haven't even mentioned scurvy!! :)
Magnesium aids in body temperature regulation, detoxification, and helps to form healthy bones and teeth, by assisting in the absorption of calcium. Magnesium is also beneficial to many women's health issues, and works together with B6 to aid in the prevention of insomnia, constipation, high blood pressure, migraines, kidney stones, gallstones, and more. Magnesium is believed to prevent cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, and may treat diabetes and depression. !!

it seems like beans aren't the only magical fruit out there. :)

"He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for people to cultivate-bringing forth food from the earth..." ps 104:14-16

today i am thankful for fruit.
and this is what makes me smile:

it never ceases to amaze me that, even when i feel so far away from God, He always finds a way to let me know that He knows what's up, and He loves me & knows what i need.

this matters:

we didn't have much of a "PA" winter this year. in fact, it was very much reminiscent of the "winters" i spent in the mid-state of NC. warm enough to go for a bike ride in early january, only a total of about 10-12" of snow (ok...most years in NC we didn't get that much, but here we average closer to 30", with the last few years being above average.), and daffodils blooming in late february to early march, when normally we don't see them until mid to late march/early april.

there's been some concern about the fruit harvest in the area this year, because growers are worried that there is greater potential for the buds and blossoms, which are already out, to blow off the trees, or to freeze if we happen to have a cold snap. on the other hand, orchardists (i think i made that word up.) are cautiously anticipating a majorly bountiful, early crop because of the potentially longer & unusually warm growing season. YAY for the potential for fresh cherries before summer!

punxsutawney phil sure got it wrong this year! spring definitely came early...even the bugs and baby bunnies are out and about. and just the other day, i saw a red tailed hawk flying over a field with a black snake hanging from its talons.

i've really, REALLY been enjoying the early season. and since there wasn't really a "thaw", it hasn't been all gooey & mucky like it normally is in the transitional time between winter and full blown springyness. i like it. :)
some people who are not so cool with it-people who booked DC hotel rooms in order to enjoy the annual cherry blossom festival, which takes place each year in mid april. unfortunately, the blooms are out this week in DC, and will be gone by the time those folks come to town.

our lovely cherry tree in the back yard is about 3 1/2 weeks ahead of "schedule" also.
here is a picture i took last year on april 17th:

and here is one i took today. (please excuse the poor photo quality...i'm having issues with focus lately. :/ )

early spring makes me smile. :)

and this passage always comes to mind at this season...
"look now, the winter is past. the rain is over and gone. the flowers have already appeared in the land; the time has arrived for pruning the vines, and the voice of the turtledove has been heard in the land. the figs are ripening on the trees and the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance..." Song of Solomon 2:11-13a

monday is just not my friend lately.
tuesday, wednesday, and thursday haven't been all that kind, either. heheh

i saw a commercial earlier, for a local candy company. it featured "cute" kids dressed up in their Easter finery, talking about their favorite sweets. one kid said, "my grammy likes, like, Jesus and stuff...so she got me a chocolate cross. and i ate it. is that okay?"

i guess i've been in a kind of funk lately, one that i'm just noticing more now that i am climbing out of it. isn't it weird how sometimes things can just attach themselves to you, like a nettle? and it seems like they're magnetic..before you know it, you've got a whole jumble of sticky little briers slowing you down. when i see a mess of those things  clinging to me, i usually just reach down and try to grab the whole group and rip them off.. i usually end up with tiny barbs in my fingers, and with brambles still attached.
for some reason it's almost always not until after i give myself splinters, that i look to the One who i know is really good at plucking out thorns.

i am smacking myself around with the goodness of the books 1st and 2nd Peter.. i am amazed that God is so patient, so loving and faithful...yet at the same time, i know that He is just and righteous, and i know what He expects from me.. it still blows my mind that He chose me.


a "poem"

i could gaze
at Your beautiful
ocean...forever.
resting
by the shore
i feel so close to You.
each wave-
with every rise
and every fall-
proclaims that
You are King.
the winds
whisper Your Name
and say that
You are Lord.
You made the sea.
only You are more amazing.


what makes me smile today:
thinking of the ocean & the One who created it.

from this day forward i am, and shall ever be, a ONE coffee per day girl.
(or less....i prefer tea, anyway. :P)

this is what makes me smile:
a yard full of robins that i did not get to take a picture of.

also, this:
Psalm 32:8-11
"the LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control! Many sorrows come to the wicked, but UNFAILING LOVE surrounds those who trust the LORD. So rejoice in the LORD and be glad, all you who obey Him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!" ♥

someday...maybe someday..

this is what made me smile today:
a post card sent from my pap to my granny while he was in training for the us army air corps during ww2.

ten albums full of old (and some newer) family photographs...
another album that contains a collection of almost one hundred postcards dated 1905-the 1950s, which belonged to my great-grandmother...
countless newspaper clippings-pertinent to family and local history, as well as major national and world events...
bible records and other genealogical treasures, including drawings by some of my favorite great aunts and cousins who have passed on...
a pot of delicious jasmine tea...
a mix of my favorite tunes...
a glowing fireplace...
and a fluffy cat curled up in a big wicker bowl beside me.

all these things have made for an excellent afternoon. :)

i am especially intrigued by my great grandmother, Mary Jane. there are a number of parallels between our lives, and the more i learn about her, the more i wish i'd gotten a chance to know her. she has always been remembered with great fondness by my mom, my aunts, and cousins who were blessed to have spent time with her.
one of the funniest stories i remember hearing was of a time when she was walking from her home to the home of my mother's family. they lived in a small valley-the walk wasn't far, but it was mostly uphill and through a patch of woods. on the way, she met a skunk who decided she was in his (or her, i guess!) territory, and chased "Big Grandma" (as my mom & aunts referred to her) the whole way up the hill. my mom remembers hearing Big Grandma screaming well before she came crashing through the front door (rather than the back..where she normally entered), out of breath from the run up the hill. as soon as she got inside, she promptly fainted on the living room floor. :) hehe

i also hear she made spectacular potato chips. !! yum.

"..from everlasting to everlasting, the LORD's love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness will be with their children's children..." Psalm 103:17

this is what makes me smile:
my great-great grandmother, Bessie Talitha Bricker Sword, with her daughters Catherine and Mary Jane

i've been having some amazingly vivid dreams recently. one was very terrifying, involving monsters and all sorts of scary things happening to my loved ones. i woke up and restarted that dream at least three times that i remember. each time, as i was drifting back to sleep, i would think, "now amy...dream something better this time." it didn't work so well.
one night i dreamed that i kept hiding from people. there were several different people i hid from, and throughout the dream it seemed as though i was watching life from the other side of a window. the weird part about that dream was, all of the people i hid from were people who i desperately wanted to be involved with in some capacity. yet, i still hid. there was one person who realized i was hiding, found me, and involved me in a game of chess.
another night, i dreamed that i was outside with a group of people, and we were all star gazing...looking for meteors. i saw one, and then another, and soon there were "shooting stars" whizzing across the heavens in every direction...but i was the only one in the group who could see them.
lots of interesting things have been happening in my dreams lately...and in nearly every single one of them, i am absolutely convinced that i am awake, and those things are really happening. when i wake up, i am either relieved, or sort of sad..depending on the dream.
last night, i had an entirely different experience. instead of being asleep and convinced that i was awake...i had the opposite happen. i got a strange, unintelligible text from my company's owner which had me fully convinced that i'd been fired. i replied with an equally unintelligible question as to whether that is what she meant, or if i was very confused. thankfully, she gave me a call & assured me that i was not fired, and that she thought i'd better go back to sleep because she thought i'd taken too much cold medicine. it turns out she was probably right about that. haha..today, i am red-faced, but glad to still have my job. i am also glad that i have the ability to laugh at myself. heheh

a verse i read today:
"a man's heart plans his way, but it is the Lord who establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

this is what makes me smile. raptors.

"her"

when the daffodils start to bloom, i always change my route home from work to include going down an awesomely pot-hole infested, one and a half lane dirt road that is sometimes between hills and sometimes on the side of a cliff. that road cuts through one of the most ruggedly beautiful valleys i've seen around here, and in truth i take this route once every other week or so throughout the year, just because it's so pretty.
in this valley, along a lane called "prospect hill," there is an old, crumbling farmhouse in the middle of what is now a sheep pasture. (i always feel bad for those little guys when they get sheared..they look so, well, weird. haha)
i like to imagine what the people who lived in that house were like..why would they choose such a place to build their home and farm? those hilly fields had to be hard to clear, till, and harvest.
there is a rusty old water pump in front of the house, and i imagine outbuildings filled with tools and animals. i can almost hear a brood of boisterous children running around..and chickens. i wonder about the "woman of the house." what was she like? did she enjoy living so far from town? did she wander along the brook that rambles through the valley? the brook that originates as a spring bubbling up from her front yard, eventually growing into a stream and merging with the codorus creek, which meanders all through our county until it finally meets up with the mighty  susquehanna  river, rushing over rocks and through forests to join with the chesapeake bay, which then flows to the atlantic ocean...? was she aware of the awesomeness of this?? did she care where that brook went? or just that it sometimes flooded during a heavy rain? where was she from? what was her name? did she love the hills and valleys? my questions are endless...
one thing i do know, is that she (or someone who came after her) liked daffodils. i know this because they still bloom every spring.
today, i saw a few blooming at a house on my way home from work & so i decided it was time to check out the prospect hill farm to see if "her" daffodil's were out yet. ...
almost. i'll just have to drive by again in a few days. :)

all these things sent me in search of my camera today. at this particular moment, i'm glad i splurged on the ridiculously over priced batteries.

we don't call it "the eagle tree" for nothing.

nothing too spectacular here, just a shimmering lake and some lovely shades of brown and blue..

my "church shoes"

                        

by far, the cutest thing i saw all day.

hibiscus tea. yum.

such a pretty sunset that even an out of focus picture can't take away its loveliness.

so cool. jupiter, moon, and venus. (and a photobombing jet.)

all of these things are a testament to God's love for me. (well...maybe not the jet. ;) )

His blessings are endless, He is my Joy, my Love, and my Peace.

pssssst! He loves you, too.

i spent yesterday most of the evening, and well past midnight reading a two volume story. it was a story about growth and stagnation, challenge and triumph..or failure. there were heartbreaks, joyous celebrations, and tantrums. at various times i wept; tears of joy, of anger, and of grief. there were moments when i wanted to scoop the main character up in my arms for a long, comforting hug, and other times when i just wanted to shake some sense into her. throughout the story there was always an underlying layer of  hopefulness versus hopelessness, and the consequences of each.
this was the story of a girl who most saw as having an abundance of potential and even a lot of natural ability, but unfortunately, who most also often saw as someone who didn't really need much help. this girl kind of got lost in the shuffle and was not comfortable reaching out for the assistance she desperately needed, so her talents and potential were wasted because of her inability to plan or just to really know where to turn for some concrete direction. or so she allowed herself to believe. at times she became bogged down in perceived helplessness and confusion. other times, she soared.
i noticed that, throughout the tale, the times the girl was most content were the times she seemed to be focusing her thoughts on God and seeking after His will. (duh, right?) it was the times when she allowed unholy distractions into her life, or put other things or people in a more elevated place than she should have, that things in her life went wonky and difficulties ensued. (again, duh.)
there was a "mostly" happy ending, but even with that there were major life challenges that the girl would be facing in the future. in the end, i was left with hopes for years filled with promise and joy,  and for her to reclaim the calling on her life.
it was a pretty good story, and there were some shockers in there that i wasn't expecting. this was strange, because the books were my journals from 1993-1999. there were also a lot of things that i was kind of surprised weren't in there. i am left with a feeling similar to the one i had when i first read The Bell Jar. i was absolutely convinced that i suffered from the same difficulties, and even diseases that Esther did. moreover, i felt i was Esther. i felt i was reading the story of my life. this time, at least i don't feel quite as crazy for feeling that way. ;)
so..i'm not sure what i want to do with these journals. part of me wants to hold on to them, because they really are a chronicle of some of the most difficult times in my life. looking back now, i can see so many things so clearly...it makes me feel a mixture of anger at and pity for myself, but almost as if it wasn't me..like this girl was a totally different person.  in a lot of ways, she was. so much of that girl is dead and buried with a shout of good riddance and a brief moment of mourning for all of the wasted years and energy. but you can't go back, can you? you just have to learn from your mistakes, and it really does help to be able to put things together and sort of figure out why i made some of the stupid choices that i did...not that it makes them okay..
there is another part of me that just wants to burn the journals. to symbolically (and literally) burn all the hurt and pain, and just be done with it once and for all. but then, i've done that before, and the only good it did was it gave me a reason to go out to the burn barrel and play with some matches for a little while.
i am so very thankful for being rescued from the place the Lord pulled me out of, so amazed that He still wanted me after all the careless ways i behaved. while i was reading, i felt like, even during my darkest days, i was always reaching toward Jesus, even when i was floundering and drowning...i just couldn't seem to keep my grasp. there were so many things weighing me down that i didn't even realize at the time. i am just glad He never let me go. ♥

"But He was pierced for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His wounds we are healed. All of us, like sheep, have gone astray; we have turned-every one of us-to our own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:5&6

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way, your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these should perish."
Matthew 18:12-14

thank You. ♥