unplanned amy: things, situations, and behaviors that rankle me

i was going to title this post "things i don't like" or "things that irritate me", or a few other similar titles, however all of those words sounded so negative that i didn't feel good about using them. not that "rankle" doesn't sound negative, but at least it also kind of makes me chuckle.

i also almost titled it "things i do not prefer" because one time, when i was about 8 or 9, i was somewhere like an open market or bingo or someplace i can't quite remember with an obscure, faceless family member. while there, a prim-ish plain-clothed older lady was offered some coffee, which she turned down by saying, "no thank you, i do not prefer coffee." it stuck in my mind because she sounded so cultivated, and yet her reply didn't totally make sense. it left me wondering what she did prefer.

so here's my list of mild annoyances, or things that just make me go 'hrrmph' (in no particular order & all in good fun):

limp handshakes. who wants to grab hold of a dead fish on purpose? not a great first impression. especially if you find out later that the dude is a piano player as an occupation and you forever worry that you are the girl who ruined his career (aka LIFE) because you squeezed the life out of his poor, mousy fingers.
limp hugs. very similar to dead fish handshakes. nothing is worse than deeming someone worthy of a hug and then receiving floppy fish arms in return. ugh. if you're going to allow a hug-hug like you mean it!
talking with a mouth full of food. gross. this is one of the undesirable habits i am (and have been for years...thanks a lot public school) trying to break my lovely daughter of. ick.
drivers who fail to use their turn signals. they are there for a reason...to signal that you are about to make a turn.
peach skin. i loooooove fresh peaches, but i can't stand that fuzzy outer layer. this is what drew me to nectarines. so, while i am sad with peaches for being so fuzzy, i must thank them because nectarines are amazing.
empty toilet paper rolls. really? you know used the last of the roll. it verges on some sort of evil to NOT replace it...do you enjoy the thought of the next patron not looking before they 'deposit' and then being at the mercy of whomever may be around to deliver another roll?? you are sick, sick people.
silverware scrapers. this can be either repeated, loud scraping of silverware on a plate (aiiieeeeee!!!), or those people who bite down on their fork or spoon while eating, and then scraaaaaaape it out from between their teeth. (aaaaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeee!!!!)
spiders. this one is a given, and needs no explanation.
people who are rude to service industry workers. whether it's the sanitation engineer who missed a piece of rubbish which then landed on your windshield, the cashier who maybe looked less than dazzled to ring up your groceries, or the restaurant server who got your order wrong. there is no good reason to let loose your cries of disdain and your pompous command, 'if you don't like your job-find a new one!' on these people. they are probably already having a crappy day. try being really nice to them instead.
aggressive drivers. (myself included) if i choose to drive the posted speed limit, or just slightly over, i can understand your frustration at getting stuck behind me. sorry, fella. but, if i am going well over the speed limit and you are riding my bumper-grrrr... this only serves to do one of two things, depending on my mood. if i am in a bad mood, i will very likely slow down to the speed limit, or just below, in an effort to tick you off and encourage you to become as cranky as i am. if i am in a good mood, i will usually give a courtesy, "hey..back off there, buddy" brake tap. if you continue to tail me, i will slow down to just below the speed limit in an effort to tick you off and further elevate my delightful mood. yeah..i'm that person. whoopsie.
word suggest-ers. sometimes, in the middle of conversation, i will lose my word..i know what it is- i can visualize it- it's RIGHT THERE!! i just cannot capture it and make it come out of my mouth. this is very frustrating. very, EXTREMELY frustrating. even more frustrating- when (probably well-meaning) people begin to suggest words for me when i am stuck. it usually starts off slowly, but then it always builds in frequency and urgency until we both end up shouting. them, more word "choices" and me, "NO! JUST PLEASE BE QUIET!!" this only makes it that much harder for me to try and finish that word transaction, and they end up looking foolish yelling, "bird? owl? wall? bike?? feather? HOTDOG? HOTDOG?? WHAT??!!??" (by the way, in case you are concerned...my dr. assures me i do not have early onset alzheimer's, a tumor, or any other life-threatening malady. she says it happens because of stress and/or migraines. plus she is convinced that i have adult ADHD.)
chronic one-uppers. you know the type. regular dude: "hey, i got a new puppy yesterday..he's soo cute!" one-upper: "oh, well...i got a ZEBRA, and he is of a royal bloodline..he can sing and do arithmetic, too."
people who have bad reactions to specific foods, and then knowingly eat those foods and complain about said negative reactions. if you know it's going to make you ill- DON'T EAT IT.
those dummies that they put in police cars that they park in known speed trap areas. not nice, guys.
bottled water. i am guilty of supporting this ridiculous industry myself on occasion....but that doesn't mean i like it. i don't prefer bottled water for 2 main reasons. one is the plastic bottle issue..but mostly because WATER SHOULD BE FREE.
people who deride others for leaving a few bites of food on their plate. "it's only three bites! you can finish that!!" three bites of food at each meal ends up being somewhere in the neighborhood of 3200 bites of food in a year. that can mean the difference between losing a pound or two, or gaining a pound or two when you have weight control issues. so if i don't eat the crust on my sandwich, old guy at the diner counter, it's not because i am "such a princess..won't even eat her CRUST." it is because i have issues and have just saved myself 1/3 the bread calories/carbs/whatever that i would have eaten if i had the whole thing. so mind your own nasty business.
people who are mean. much like spiders...these beings seem to have some value in this world, though i still think we'd be okay without so many of them around.
socks with holes in the toe. no fun. no fun at all.
the ridiculous amount of money that celebrities and professional athletes make...especially when compared to teacher's salaries. what better example is there of where our society places value? sad.
humidity. yep..not a fan.
when, on a sunny morning, i hang out my freshly washed sheets (towels/clothing/you get the idea), and then go inside and hear thunder. i call this situation a "double rinse". heheh.