i just don't know how to sort it all out so that it would make sense to someone reading it. i'm not always very good at explaining things, especially when it comes to myself and things i am thinking about or feeling.
or it could be that i just don't think anyone really wants to read it.
i have been staying with my youngest sister for 2 weeks. the trip was originally supposed to be a 5 nighter. (which sounded long at the beginning!) last week, i decided to stay a few more days so that i could help her out a little and so that i could meet my bestest friend's brand spanking new little cutie wootie baby boy. we took a few days and visited the beach. i always love going there...always. then we drove back over here & when it was time to go home on sunday, i decided to stay another week. might as well. :) ...though i am missing out on the start of sweet corn season at home. and that was almost enough to convince me to go ahead and leave. PA corn is no joke. deeeeelicious.
i stayed for selfish reasons,though at first they might not seem like selfish reasons. i wanted to help out, sure, but i don't often get to feel like i am being helpful, and i really like that feeling. i wanted to be able to hug my sweet little niece some more, and hadn't quite gotten her to be able to say "amy"...so we still needed to work on that. also, how in the world is meeting an adorable newborn not selfish? like the baby cares if some lady he will probably only see a couple of times a year (if that!) comes to see him and say how stinking precious he is? he doesn't care that i held him for over an hour.. marveling at his full head of hair, his crazy cute elvish ears, how much he looks like his daddy. and trying to remember when my baby girl was that teeeeeny tiny. (she never was, on the outside!) she was such a cute little booger...her birth & that general time period in my life were in some ways the best experience of my life, and in others-the worst.
déjà vu... and to switch subjects before i get lost on my trip down memory lane, and forget i am even blogging..i get it a lot. most recently-when i highlighted & deleted "of being useful" after the word feeling in a sentence up there in the preceding paragraph. it's really weird. sometimes it is a fleeting feeling of familiarity, and sometimes it lasts a really long time...like hours. or more like briefer minutes long "sessions" continuously "happening" over a period of hours. some think it is a form of epilepsy. others link it to schizophrenia and other neurological disorders. i read somewhere that some researchers think it happens when one eye sends signals to the brain a fraction of a second slower than the other. the "source" to beat all sources, wikipedia says,
The most likely explanation of déjà vu is that it is an anomaly of memory, giving the false impression that an experience is "being recalled," this may result from an overlap between the neurological systems responsible for short-term memory and those responsible for long-term memory (events which are perceived as being in the past). The events would be stored into memory before the conscious part of the brain even receives the information and processes it.i don't know why or how it happens, just that it is weird. but also sort of cool, in a freaky mcfreakerson kind of way.
ahh..i feel so productive now. i have managed to blog (have i ever mentioned that i really kind of hate using blog as a verb? i henceforth render it to only being used as a noun, at least as far as this blog is concerned.)...i have managed to write a blog entry about pretty much nothing. and i used a lot of words to do it.
this is what makes me smile:
rememberies. ♥
even with the glare, it's still one of my favorites ever. :)
