it's funny how sometimes you feel like nobody likes you, and you're all "woe is meeee" because you never get invited to do anything (not that you would go anyway, because then you might actually have to leave the house and have a conversation with someone while trying to not be too awkward...which is probably why they don't ask in the first place), and nobody ever calls or texts, or blah blah blah. it makes you sad and crappy feeling, and is just no fun. and then, all of a sudden, people want to hang out with you right and left. people are calling, texting, emailing...everybody wants some of your time. it can be very overwhelming, and there's that whole "i'm feeling weird" issue to deal with. why can't i ever seem to find a happy medium?

it's ridiculous how i always seem to feel left out...even when i am in the middle of a lot of "action." i just want a deeper connection, you know?...not so much flighty do this, go here, yak, yak, yak...i suppose this is the difference between friends and acquaintances-or friends and close friends. i do soo need just a few close friends, but at the same time, i am often afraid to make that connection...baaaaah.

it is also ridiculous how i always seem to think other people need to make me feel...any feeling. that is really up to me, to choose how i feel, but i so often try to push it off on someone else. lame. sometimes i think my body has continued to age, but my emotions have stayed in 7th grade.

okay enough of the crud...time to get thankful, amy.
i am pleased that i do have one close friend, who i am super-de-duper grateful for. unfortunately, she lives far from me, and communications are often somewhat spotty, but i'm glad for the time i do get to spend with her. i am also very thankful for my sisters, and ever grateful for their friendship in addition to their sisterly love. :)
i'll throw in a hearty "thanks" also, for good friends i may not know, or know well now, but will...eventually.

in other news, i had a somewhat heated discussion with a fellow classmate today over the correct way to spell breathe...as in inhaling & exhaling. i can normally overlook colloquial, grammatical and spelling errors (because, let's face it, i'm no English major...well...i was, but i'm not anymore! :P ), but this girl was going on and on about how she cannot STAND it when people spell breathe with an e on the end. "that is sooo stupid! there is no e on the end of breathe!" haha, actually, there is. i had to look it up to prove it to her. she ended up kind of embarrassed, and i felt bad about that. it wasn't my intention to make her look dumb, but rather, to help her to stop making herself look that way. :/

in other, other news, it sometimes slightly rankles me when i do something (make something, get 100% on a test, etc.) and people exclaim  mightily about how well i did, as though they are amazed.
i know, man. a lot of my ugly is showing tonight. sheesh.

this is what makes me smile:
growing up in rural PA...
what else can you really say?