for real. this one is kinda depressing. read at your own risk.
i am feeling really weird right now...
japanese student swept over horseshoe falls
we got home a few days ago from that great niagara falls vacation, and i saw on the news today that on sunday a girl fell into the river & went over the falls. :( it's doubly strange because i was just there. she was on the canadian side, climbed onto the railing to pose for a picture or something, and just...woosh. i will never understand why people take unnecessary risks like that, as if standing 3 inches further away from something is going to lessen the wonder of the experience. even more disturbing, i think, is the news that while searching unsuccessfully for her at the bottom, they found another body. :(
it seems weird to wish a terrible accident like that on somebody, but i hope that's what it was. and that brings me to the related topic of suicide. i have to admit that more than once while i was taking in the beauty and power of the falls, my thoughts turned to jumpers. i was really hoping that no one decided that was going to be their last day on earth while my daughter was watching.
suicide has always been a very troubling subject to me, i was introduced to it at the unthinkably young age of almost 2. of course i don't remember the actual events or immediate aftermath, but it was always there in the background of my childhood. losing a family member to suicide is tragic, and the shock of it fades, but never completely goes away. as a child, you ask questions and, in the case of my family, you get lies for answers because they figure that is better than the truth. which only confuses you more, and makes you wonder..if he was sick, as they say, and couldn't help himself...why is it so shameful? i get that the whole idea of taking your life is murder, and some say that you are "playing God." but..i don't think i agree when i hear people say that suicide is the only unforgivable sin because you don't have the opportunity to repent. this has always been a touchy subject. i've managed to avoid outright arguments about it, because i think people are entitled to make their own decisions about how they feel about it. and i, myself, have vacillated numerous times in my own opinion. when i was in high school, it was a subject my youth pastor refused to even touch. and when asked why he wouldn't go there, the man of a million words would shut his mouth and say no more.
anyway, i don't really know where i was going with this. just using cyberspace as an outlet for my unsettling thoughts, i suppose.
this is what gives me pause:
the crazy, awesome, beautiful, unforgiving power of nature/the frailty of human life.
